ODE TO THE MAN WITH THE FLOOR TO CEILING BOOKCASE

SOMETIMES AT HOME WHEN I’M FEELING LOW

NO DANNY DYER ON THE TV, NOWHERE TO GO

I BRING UP GOOGLE IMAGE, FLOOR TO CEILING BOOK CASE IS WHAT I TYPE IN

DRINKING AND THINKING OF HOW MY LIFE COULD HAVE BEEN

 

THEN YOUR SMUG MUSH POPS UP ALL IN MY FACE

LEANING CASUALLY AGAINST YOUR BEAUTIFUL FLOOR TO CEILING BOOKCASE

IN YOUR BEAUTIFUL JUMPER, SMELLING OF EXPENSIVE COLOGNE

YOUR BEAUTIFUL CAT, YOUR BEAUTIFUL HOME

 

YOU SAY NOTHING BUT I IMAGINE WHAT YOU SAY

‘LOOK AT ME PLEB FACE. DON’T TURN AWAY.

I HAVE IT ALL, I AM THE PERSONIFICATION OF SUCCESS

MY WIFE HAS HAD FOUR CHILDREN AND STILL HAS PERFECT BREASTS’

 

I IMAGINE MEETING YOU, BOOKCASE MAN, AND CHALLENGING YOU TO A DUEL

‘PUT YOUR BODEN CATALOGUE DOWN BRUV COS SH*T JUST GOT REAL

TELL ME TARQUIN, HOW MANY OF THOSE BOOKS HAVE YOU ACTUALLY READ?

OR IS IT ALL FOR SHOW, LIKE YOUR SALUBRIOUS NORTH LONDON HOMESTEAD?’

 

YOU TURN TO ME AND IN AN INSTANT I KNOW

IT’S NOT ALL DREAMY IN HIGHGATE, YOU TOO SOMETIMES FEEL LOW

‘I AM BOOKCASE MAN AND I STILL FEEL PAIN

TELL ME TURNER, IS THERE REALLY SUNSHINE IN THE RAIN?’

 

BOOKCASE MAN, LET ME BUY YOU A DRINK

IN LIFE, WE ARE ALL GUILTY OF THE OVERTHINK

KEEP YOUR BESPOKE BOOKCASE, I’VE STILL GOT MY LIFE

AND IKEA WILL DO NICELY, WORD TO YOUR WIFE

 

(NB Image courtesy of google. I do not know this man but I hope he has a happy life and I bet he smells great.)

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13 Comments Add yours

  1. FictionFan says:

    Haha! Brilliant! And yes, I bet he smells gorgeous… 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You are HILARIOUS! And how I want that floor to ceiling bookcase with the lovely ladder… 😉

    Like

    1. Thank you!!!! Well I make myself giggle lol

      Liked by 1 person

    2. PS That bookcase is a life goal for me too

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s me in the background!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. bookswiththecookes says:

    Brilliant – I know exactly what you mean. House full of books – tick. Gorgeous husband (who reads most of said books) – tick. Floor to ceiling bookcase – darn it, I knew my house was missing something… (and it’s not in a hipster part of North London either)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I shouldn’t really diss North London! I grew up there, in Edmonton, and am just simply jealous that I’ll never live in leafy Highgate lol! Will always be home, even if I live Sarf London now.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Madhu says:

    Hahaha…loved the ode. Bookcase man indeed.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This is hilarious! Made me chuckle 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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